'They've Forgotten And Moved On'

Back on 31 May, I sent this out to just about everyone on my mailing list:

To All my Cyberfriends and Family:



For the next week or so I will be very busy with Bluestar/ Third Gallaghura activities and will not be readily available. If you do not see me online or if you see a 'do not disturb' red ball on chat, do not worry about me; I am fine, just very busy. Please respect the red ball if it is there unless you have a real emergency. Send an email and I will respond as soon as I can.



I am sending this out individually instead of in one mailing as I know many of you prefer to keep your addresses private.



All of you, please take care.



Talk to you later.



Love and hope,



Mai

Most of the replies I got were along the line of 'yeah, sure, I understand, no problem.' One I got, however, I found very disturbing:

--------
From: (A 23 year old Hindu man in Amritsar)

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH...................

This response made me angry and I had no intention of continuing the correspondence. But a few days ago, he sent an e-mail and I decided to let him know that he was out-of-bounds, as he didn't seem to realise he'd done anything wrong. (OK, I do tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I sent him a copy of my note and his response and told him simply that his laughing was highly offensive because 'some things just aren't funny.'



I received this response: (I have changed the form a bit because his style of writing is distinct, and I didn't ask for his permission to reprint it. but it is exactly what he wrote. Highlighting is mine.)

OK, see, this is a very old e-mail, so I don't exactly remember why did I write this...



but maybe because of your obsession with this Bluestar phenomenon...



As such we here [in Amritsar] didn't observe any such day...and you are so far away...not even a citizen of ours considers it important...so I may have laughed...laughed not at the deaths of innocent people...but of your attitude of bringing this thing up every now and then



or maybe I laughed to see that red balls thing you wrote about being busy...



I don't remember...it's got to be one of two reasons...or maybe both...



But as I write I am more convinced it was the former one...



But no offence meant...



Mai, you need a break really about this Bluestar thing...because where it happened...those who suffered...those who were at the forefront... they've forgotten...and moved on...



I saw just today a report on NDTV...couldn't find you a link...They showed how children of former terrorists are becoming doctors and engineers...



Now you take care of your health, OK?



But I meant no offence that day!!...OK, Ji.



Bye bye.

Remember, this is a letter from AMRITSAR. Is it really possible to ignore this bloody massacre in our capital city? Have those demons running the Indian government really done their work so well that this young generation can pretend it never happened and believe that the people it happened to have 'forgotten and moved on'?

Waheguru!


And this young man hasn't an inkling that his whole response is insulting and condescending and offensive in the extreme.


I am publishing this because I think it is important that we have some understanding of the young Hindus today in the Punjab. This deluded young man thinks he is our friend. He has even sent me snaps of himself with arms draped over the shoulders of his turbaned Sikh friends. If this is the attitude the sympathetic ones, one can only imagine what the majority think.


I am sorry to post something so offensive, but I think we need this kind of information. To anyone I have offended, please accept my apology in advance.

Poll Results

Here is what it said: 48 people responding:

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION OF KHALISTAN?

It is vital to the survival of the Sikh people/nation/religion.
23 (47%)

It's a great idea, but not vital, Guru Ji will ensure our survival.
17 (35%)

I don't know.
1 (2%)

You are a bunch of nut cases; go into therapy.
4 (8%)

You are terrorists, potential or actual.
2 (4%)

No opinion
2 (4%)

I am Sikh
33 (68%)

I am not Sikh
4 (8%)

So what do I make of this?

There were many more respondents than I expected. In the Khalistan part, there were 49 answers, so someone answered two of those answers, which is fine.

I was very surprised that only two people thought we were terrorists; I guess those in the Indian government weren't voting!

Twice as many thought we are crazy; I expected more there, as that seems to be a fairly common reaction to the idea of Khalistan.

The real surprise to me was the last two question. That was 33 Sikhs to 4 non Sikhs or about 8 to one. That didn't surprise me as I know some from both groups read here now and then. What intrigues me is that 33 + 4 = 37. I wonder about the other 11. It doesn't really matter, of course, but I am curious. My mind just works that way.

Remember, there is nothing scientific about this poll, it is only to satisfy curiosity. In my new poll, I'll try to find out about some demographics.

A Personal Message

My dear Friends and Readers,

Several of you have e-mailed me wanting information about my health problems. All of you know I had a major stroke in April, 2006, and flat-lined twice. I have a genetic blood disorder that causes blood clots. I have had clots over the years several times with no real damage to me until a heart attack in 2005. But I have to take a blood thinner, warfarin (Coumadin) for the rest of my life to prevent further clots. Blood clots cause heart attack in the heart, stroke in the brain and death in the lungs.

What I haven't talked about is another congenital condition, a malformed aortal valve in my heart. I have known that sooner or later, I would need surgery for that. Well, sooner or later is now. My doctors say that my heart will last maybe three months without the operation.

Here's the problem: they would have to take me off the warfarin to perform the surgery. There is a very high risk of more blood clots then, causing stroke, heart attack or lung failure, any of which, in my condition, has a high mortality rate, ie, I would likely die. At the very least, I would be completely incapacitated.

I have chosen not to risk permanent, massive disability and to forgo the surgery. Lilly's father had a massive stroke; I watched him lie in bed, unable to eat, talk, move, communicate, unable to do ANYTHING, yet fully conscious. There are many definitions of hell. Surely this must be one of them! I refuse. I am a warrior, not a thinking vegetable.

That said, please don't write me off yet. The medical profession has pronounced me dying since before my birth. At my last stroke, they told my husband there was no hope, to make funeral arrangements. But, hey, I'm sitting here typing this.

I am not afraid of dying. Perhaps it is my upbringing, my beliefs, or my experiences of flat-lining four times in this one lifetime. (An interesting experience, I suppose, but I never saw tunnels or lights or ran into God, or even Guru Gobind Singh Ji. I did , I think, once meet up with a nihang and once with a nurse and once with another personage, who will here remain nameless.) Whatever the reason, Old Man Death holds no horror for me, in fact, it would be a release from constant physical pain.

However, I am not ready to die. I refuse to die in a hospital bed with weepy people gathered around me. Mai insists on dying fighting. I was born a fighter. I have lived a fighter. And I insist on dying a fighter. I still have a few things to do. I want to finish editing my 1984 journal, for one. And, of course, I want most of all to die in righteous battle as a shaheed.

My one fear of dying is how some people who love me will react. I saw my husband fall completely to pieces for 18 months when a son got killed in a car wreck. If I had not been there, practically force feeding him, shoving him out of bed, pushing him into the bathtub, etc., I doubt he would have survived. He is still horribly dependent on me emotionally; if I were to die, I'm afraid of what would happen to him.

I am almost as afraid for a young lady I have come to care about very deeply. She is 14, which is a very emotional and vulnerable age. She has already had too much tragedy in her life and, God help me! I don't want to add to it. I have told her not to mourn for me while I am still alive.

So now you have it. I hope this hasn't been too dry and personal. Again I tell my doctors what I have told them many times before: 'You have no idea who you are dealing with.'

Whatever happens, it is the Hukam of Waheguru and I accept that without hesitation.

Love to all,

Mai



--
WHY TRY TO FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT?

A Notebook

Last week, on Friday, a small package arrived from Montreal, accompanied by a note from eldest brother, Alain. It said,

WJKK
WJKF

'Dear Sister,

We came across this while cleaning in the attic. When I saw what it was, I
stopped reading at once and packed it to send to you. I knew you would want it.
Sorry for everything. I hope the memories aren't too intense for you.

Love, Brother Al

WJKK
WJKF

Of course, I ripped the packaging off immediately. It was a notebook.


I have always kept a journal of one sort or another. Usually after a time I burn them, unless they contain something extraordinary, figuring they have served their purpose in the writing and not wanting them to fall into unfriendly hands. I had kept an extensive journal of our trip to India, supposing it would be something to remember all our lives. (Yeah, right!) That, unfortunately, burnt with the house.


This journal, however, was written afterward. I opened it and gasped at the date of the first entry: 29 November 1984. That entry consists of just two scrawled words, the most obscene expression in the English language. So much for the [saintly] Mai! I do not remember writing any of it, but it is all in my handwriting and I know the thoughts are mine.

On the inside front cover, two pictures had been pasted: the first formal portrait of the three of us as a family, Sandeep only a few days old, and the one taken the day before we left for India, Sandeep trying not to look excited, Mani not even trying not to look excited and me trying not to look apprehensive. (If only they had listened to me. 'If only, Lord, if only.')


I read it at once, from beginning to end, no easy task, partly because I seemed to get an allergy attack and my eyes wouldn't stop watering and refused to focus. Also my handwriting, while I'm told is beautiful to look at, isn't easy to read, and much of what was written was almost illegible scrawling.


I have been pondering what to do with it. I know it belongs on this blog in some form. But there are problems. To begin with, it is loaded with anger and profanity. No self-controlled, civilised young lady wrote this thing. This is the sipahi without the sant. I need to decide how to handle that. To remove the profanity would destroy the impact and would be dishonest...to leave it in is indecent. I am working on a compromise I can live with - and you can stand to read.

[Click here to read the whole unexpurgated journal. The 'nice' version can be found in this blog under the labnel 'journal.']

I would like to work on it and publish it here in November. However, I am told by the medical professionals that I may well not last that long. So I have made a rough transcription and given it to Suni and Vini (Maman) and asked them to handle it at that time. if I am unable or unavailable.


By the way, I don't believe Al even one little bit when he says he didn't read it. My brother the psychiatrist wouldn't dream of sending it to me without knowing what was in it. He is, after all, the head of the family and, besides, a real snoop.

Bastille Day

When I was a kid, Dad being quite the Francophile, we always had a big Bastille Day celebration. Even as an adult, I have always fixed a special sort of festival dinner. Until 2004.

Since then, nothing special. No celebrations. Until France collectively comes to its senses and shows some respect toward its Sikh citizens and residents, I am boycotting all things French, including their holidays.

Our boys, and, one would suppose, our girls as well, if they wore a turban, are EXPELLED from school for wearing a patka, much less a full dastaar, I believe also that they are trying to make us remove our turbans for driver's license pictures, as well. They have gone mad!

I have read that some Sikhs are bringing France to court on human rights violations. This bears watching. I have seen nothing about this case since June.

Female Foeticide - An Addition

We all know this, don't we? But I thought it might be useful to quote directly from the Sikh Reht Maryada (English translation) at the SGPC Website: Section 4, Chapter X, Article XVI:

l. A Sikh should not kill his daughter; nor should he maintain any
relationship with a killer of daughter.

See my earlier post about female foeticide - the murder of our daughters in their mothers' womb.