05 September 2007

UPDATE - The Sikh Turban - Dastaar

I put this in sometimes - 2 earlier today. Maybe it doesn't really belong over here, but I wanted something in this blog that was possibly a little more uplifting than all the unpleasantness about Ms. Maya. I would invite all our readers to go to the blog mentioned and leave a comment. I'm sure the author would learn how important our turbans are to us, and that they have nothing to do with the British!

I read somewhere recently that 99% of the people wearing turbans in America are Sikhs. I'm not sure who the other 1% might be.

The last thing on earth I had intended to do today was write a post about turbans. However, a Google Alert - Sikh - sent me to a woman's blog talking about the turban pat downs at US airports. It was an interesting enough post, clearly written by a non Sikh who found the whole thing interesting and perhaps a bit novel.


I did a double take, however, when she asserted that the Sikh turban was an artifact of the British Raj, something instituted by the British, to be exact


...the turbans didn't even become standard Sikh-wear until the British were in
India
and decided that is what Sikhs in their army should
wear.


I started to leave a comment, but partway through, I realised I needed more than just a comment. Hence this post.


The turban has always been part of the Sikh bana, from Guru Nanak Dev Ji, who founded Sikhi, through all ten human gurus, culminating, I suppose with the requirement given by Guru Gobind Singh Ji with the founding of the Khalsa in 1699 . All initiated Sikhs are required to keep unshorn hair, that hair to be cared for and respected and kept covered.


For men, t his has always meant to tie a turban, although boys too young to properly respect and care for a turban, as well as sportsmen, often wear a kind of smaller covering called a patka. It is a big deal when a boy first wears a turban, a cause for celebration and partying. ( My own son 's adopting of the turban was rather strange and he really was a bit young.)



Women have usually worn a long scarf called a chunni, although this is changing. Most Western Sikh women generally do wear the full turban, as all Sikh women should; Sikhi makes no distinction between men and women in religious practice and obligations.

I ask you at this point to please visit this link to Sikiwiki, the Sikh on-line encyclopedia. It is a bit long, but well-researched and written and better than I can do here.

One of my favourite Sikh websites, All About Sikhs , has this article about the turban, which begins:

Turban is and has been an inseparable part of a Sikh's life. Since Guru
Nanak Dev, the founder of Sikhism, all Sikhs have been wearing turbans.

This whole pat-down thing is obnoxious and unnecessary. I know my husband Mani would have thought nothing of flattening anyone who had the effrontery to touch his turban. My sister Suni and her husband Amritdeep are currently visiting here in Seattle. They have decided to drive to Vancouver, Canada, when it's time to fly home to Montreal rather than risk having security mess with their turbans.


To Sikhs, this is a very big deal.A Sikh's turban is never a fashion statement. The turban is both sacred and pleasurable to us. I know Mani would take forever - or so it seemed - to tie his. One time I asked him why he didn't hurry it up a bit. He said it was something he enjoyed and loved to linger over, as one would a fine meal. His turbans, at least two a day, were never thrown on the dirty clothes heap, but were always washed separately with great respect.



I grew up with Dad and five of my seven brothers wearing turbans. Even today, a man without a turban looks slightly undressed to me.


Something I have learned recently, on a practical level is that the turban has at least one very desirable physical effect. Since my stroke in April, 2006, I have been plagued with blinding headaches. When I told Suni about that, she tied a turban on me and the headache was gone immediately. Of course, as soon as it's removed, the pain is back. Check me out on this. The next time you get a headache, place your hand very lightly over where it hurts. That slight pressure does amazing things. A turban places that light pressure all over the head.

The first time I tied a turban - I might add, with Mani's help - was in Delhi, when we knew we would be attacked. I was to fight with the men and I needed to look like a boy. First, my chest had to be bound, then I dressed in a blue cholla. Last, we tied the saffron turban on my head. It gave me the kind of courage and confidence that I needed to face what was coming. I knew I could never disgrace the turban I was wearing, as that would be to betray everything I held sacred.


As I see it, there are two problems with wearing a turban. The first is that you'll stand out. For a Sikh that should be no problem. (See my signature at the bottom of this post.*) The second is that you might get taken for a terrorist. I have no cure for that except education. I hope this post has actually educated at least one reader.

I sincerely hope that nothing I have said offends anyone. And as always, if I have made any errors here, I apologise and I would appreciate being corrected. Thank you.

Drawing Courtesy of The Daughters Of The Khalsa

*WHY TRY TO FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT?

************************************************

The lady whose post inspired the above wrote a comment in the sometimes - 2, blog. Here is what she had to say:

from the ashes has left a new comment on your post "The Sikh Turban (Dastaar)":

Mai- I'm actually glad you stumbled across my blog and my unusual (for me) post about security and turbans. It was nice to have a Sikh comment on the issue. I'm sorry to have offended you. Believe it or not, I know a little more about Sikhi that your average American (that doesn't take much). I have also in my life been quite respectful to various religions traditions and practices.

It is quite a commitment to wear a turban (or a head scarf, or garments, or whatever) all through one's life, and also difficult, especially when you are in the minority to do so. As you could see from my post, many of my opinions of religion are changing and up in the air right now. I just blurted out my first thoughts on the matter after reading the article. After reading your comments and post, as well as the comments of a couple of my regular readers, I can step back a little and see a different side.

Turbans, as such, are really a harmless side of religion, as opposed to some aspects of religion that can be harmful to some. As, for example, the misogyny and racism in my Mormon heritage. Asking Sikhs to remove their turbans in security checks likely causes more offense than any good would come of it--I find it extremely hard to believe that a Sikh would hide a composite gun in his turban, for example.

For me, my post was essentially about the deference we give religion just because it's religion, and Sikhs happen to be a starting point because the article made me think of it. Since you came by, it became a personal issue, and I thank you for that. Hearing about your BIL and SIL who have to cross into Canada to fly out--that struck me in a way that the newspaper article did not. The US shouldn't be making it harder and harder for Sikhs (and Muslims) to live here; we should be making it easier.

With regards to the history of the turban, I will defer to your knowledge. My comment about the British came from that book I linked. I went to grab my copy of the book so I could quote the part about Sikhs and the British army, but I don't have it with me. What I remember is that turbans were part of Sikh tradition, but that the British instituted it as required wear for Sikh soldiers, and this resulted in a _standardization_.

I could be remembering it totally wrong, of course. I'll remove that sentence from my post. Posted by from the ashes to sometimes - 2 at 9/07/2007 9:56 AM

************************************************

And while you're at it, check out this story about a Sikh forced to remove his turban and untie his hair PUBLICLY.

29 August 2007

My Bad - Reconsidering - Another Link

UPDATE: Those following the story of this young girl will probably interested in going to this link.

Growing up in my Dad's family, one of his strictest rules was to look at an issue from at least two, and usually more, viewpoints before taking a stand. This was much practiced at our dinner table when we would be in a hot dispute about something, anything, and Dad would suddenly shout: 'Switch!' That was the signal to start arguing, with equal vigour, the opposing point of view. His theory was that you couldn't really understand anything, if you didn't understand the other side. And who knows, maybe the other guy will turn out to be right. Narrow mindedness is unSikh.

Another of his strict rules involved kindness. There might be times when kindness is uncalled-for - I think of us in Delhi, for example - but in general, you should be kind. Unnecessary unkindness just adds to the pain in the world and accomplishes nothing positive. And is unSikh.

My last post violated both principals. I saw something and reacted - immediately - purely on an emotional level. I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach, that the dead bodies of my family lying at my feet were being treated as meaningless, in short, I took this whole thing very personally. (If Vini were here, she would never have permitted me to be so harsh.)

Let me be clear: I cannot condone changing one's religion for reasons of expediency, no matter what religion from or to. I think these parents are making a grave mistake. But I do not doubt that their daughter's welfare is their utmost concern. Clearly, she is loved and cherished, as all daughters should be, and her parents are acting from love.

Perhaps their local sangat could send someone who, like myself, survived the tragedy of 1984, who had family members murdered for being Sikh, to talk to them and show them the brilliant jewel that is Sikhi and help them see what it is they are throwing away. These parents need to be taught, not insulted and reviled.

So Mr. B Singh and Mrs. B. Kaur, I apologise for my harsh words. Now please, if you will listen to me, for your own sakes as well as your lovely daughter, reconsider.

To CK, whose comment made me rethink this: I believe that it is very Sikh to stand up and say 'I was wrong.' Thank you for pointing out my misbehaviour. I will be more careful and kind in the future. Mai

(Suni and Vini had nothing to do with that post)

21 August 2007

UPDATE SEE BELOW Do We Cry Or Vomit?


Is this what our shaheeds, including my family, died for?

From The Daily Mail

20 August 2007

Sikh Girl Will Convert For A Place At Catholic School

By PAUL SIMS - More by this author » Last updated at 23:18pm on 19th August 2007

The parents of a Sikh girl want to convert her to Roman Catholicism to win a place at the school of their choice.

Baljit and Bal Singh say they will change their four-year-old daughter's religion if it means she can attend their favoured school next month.

Scroll down for more ...

Maya Kaur

Maya Kaur's Sikh parents are considering changing her religion in the hope she may be allowed into the Catholic school


Maya Kaur has been attending a nursery at St Paul's Roman Catholic School in Wolviston, Cleveland, for the past two years.

But her parents have been told there is no place available for her when she starts full-time education in a few weeks.

After losing an appeal, the couple say they are seriously considering changing her religion in the hope she may be allowed into the school, which gives priority to Catholic children.

Mr Singh said: "We think Sikhism is similar to Roman Catholicism so we put her in that school. She's been there for two years, she goes to church with them, she says a prayer before she eats her dinner.

"I'll baptise her as Roman Catholic so she can go to the school."

St Paul's admissions policy gives priority to children who have been baptised Roman Catholic, have been formally received into the Catholic church and live in the catchment area, or who have a sibling at the school. Priority then goes to other Christian denominations before children of other faiths.

The Singhs' extraordinary proposal is likely to be frowned upon within the Sikh religion, which takes some of its identity from ancestors who were persecuted and martyred for refusing to convert to other faiths.

Among the stories taught within the faith is that of Guru Tegh Bahadur, the ninth of the founding gurus of Sikhism who was beheaded in 1675 by the Mughal emperor Aurangzeb for refusing to convert to Islam.

The Singhs insisted that they were doing nothing wrong in trying to get the best for their daughter.

"Two years ago when they took her into the nursery why didn't they say she wouldn't get a place straight away in the primary school?" said Mr Singh.

"I would have got her baptised then - or I'd have put her in another school."

Maya has been offered a place at William Cassidi School, a nearby Church of England school. But her parents claim she is upset and wants to remain with her friends.

Catherine Connelly, head at St Paul's, said the school had received 34 applications this year, compared to the norm of 24. The class size had also been expanded to the legal limit of 30.

"We are proud of our school's inclusive nature and we have children of several different faiths and ethnic groups," she said.

"We allocated the places according to our published admissions criteria which all parents had access to."

I don't know how to tag this: Disrespect, Ingratitude, Stupidity, Ignorance...?

Maybe the parents will come to their senses and quit being pushed around by a four-year-old girl, however pretty and charming. After all, this story is all over the Net today.

Or maybe the Church will refuse to sanction such a fraudulent conversion. Nah, I'm dreaming!

MAYA AND FAMILY: WHY TRY TO FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT?

UPDATE SURPRISE:

From BBC News, the Catholic Church responds:

A diocesan spokesman said it welcomed adults who wanted to become followers of Christ's teachings, but that children were "another matter".
He said only parents who are themselves Catholic Christians could make such a commitment for their child.


The vice chairman of the UK Sikh Federation, Jagtar Singh, said children should be allowed to choose their own religion when they were old enough.
He said: "When a child is born, the parents try to bring up that child on the basis of what they think is best.
"So if they practice any particular faith they are likely to bring that child up in that faith, knowing the child will make their own decisions when they grow up.
"They may choose to not believe in that faith, move to another faith, and that will be the individual's choice."




18 August 2007

Apology For An Oversight






This is not what I usually do, but this time I feel the need.




There is a website that I often visit and have bookmarked on my browser. I have found it both useful and interesting. Last night I tried to access it from this blog while on another computer and discovered, much to my dismay that I had never entered it in the list of links.



So my good young sisters and brothers in British Columbia, I am most sorry for this oversight. Look on the link list. You are now listed!




Now, a question, what is going on in Canada, anyway? That CBC travesty, the children's pictures on the passports, the Kaur/Singh name thing and, mostly tragically, the ordered deportation of Laibar Singh Ji.

Is Kim Bolan running things up there now or what? Do I need to come back home and personally straighten out the country? Is that a task to give to a (supposedly) dying woman?
Note: If there are any other glaring omissions in my links, please either email me or leave a comment and I'll look into it. Thanks

WHY TRY TO FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT?

16 August 2007

Other Survivors' Stories

Few survivors have written their stories. That's understandable; it's a horrible, painful chapter and to write is to relive.


Here are a couple of links about some others survivors of Delhi '84. The first, by a young man with cerebral palsy is especially moving to me. Revisiting 1984 by Amrit in the Writing Cave
















Here are eighteen short eyewitness

accounts. These are brief, but contain a lot of information. Not for the squeamish.



This story is about a reporter who was a witness to Trilokpuri, a poor section of Delhi inhabited at the time by S ikhs, Muslims and Hindus, where some of the worst violence occurred.

This picture of the dog eating the roasted man is from Trilokpuri.




I am adding these gruesome links just as evidence that our stories, while more personally told than most, are not really unusual. I was going to put some more links, but I think this is enough to make my point and, frankly, I've had enough of this for now.

Read and weep.


WHY TRY TO FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT?

Reprinted from sometimes - 2

Our Stories From 1984

I sat down this afternoon to start a project. I am organising the stories in my/our blogs in some sort of logical order. At first I thought strictly chronologically, but that didn't work since some posts span a lot of time. So I'm still working on that. Most of these are from Sometimes - 2, but a couple are from The Road To Khalistan . Also they were written and posted in a different order than they are presented here, so one or two references really seem out of place. I'm not editing them now, so please live with it. Also the last two posts are from 1985, but I have decided they belong in this post. I have also just now added another post #13, which expands on what was written before.

I am also adding a new link to the post: We Will Never Forget What Others Don't Even Know Happened . This includes a rather long article about what happened, from a Sikh newspaper. It's not really our personal stories, but it's well worth your time. If you're just looking for our stories, jump down to #1, below.



Suni and I have wracked our brains trying to decide the exact date we actually fought in Delhi - and we keep being unable to be sure. It must have been Nov. 3 or 4, but it might have been Nov. 2 or 5. It really was that confusing and traumatic to us.



I have, I think, gotten our stories from 1984 in order, so I'll start there.






  1. The Last Time I Saw Amritsar - Early June, 1984



  2. Suni's Story - Early November, 1984


  3. Hindu Gods And Other Things - Early November, 1984



  4. (Shaheed) Mandeep Singh Khalsa - Mani - Sometime in 1969 - Early November, 1984



  5. Aftermath - Early November, 1984



  6. Conclusion - Not a story, but this needs to be here



  7. Vini Speaks - 1926 - Present



  8. Suni's Statement - Early November, 1984



  9. More Mani - April, 1984



  10. (Shaheed) Sandeep Singh - February 14, 1971 - Early November 1984

  11. Delhi Again - TWENTY-TWO YEARS AND NO JUSTICE- June, 1985

  12. A Fairy Tale - Late 1985
  13. Details - 4 November 1984 - This is a recently written post, in answer to someone who felt the need to know exactly what happened, .that day.