Mai? Mai. Mai!

A very dear friend of mine is impatiently waiting for me to explain how I came up with this strange, unSikh sounding name of Mai Laya. Since I haven't told this story online before, I decided to put it here, in case anyone has ever wondered. Actually, it ties together two of the great events in my life, my birth and my marriage.

First I'll dispose of 'Laya.' Blame that on Google. I was always Mai, just Mai, but when I registered for an account, they wanted, no, they insisted on a second name. I could have - probably should have - used Kaur, but at that time, I had not yet returned to the Sangat and all things Sikh and I felt I had no right to use that name. I almost randomly chose Laya from Himalaya. It does sound euphonious with Mai, eh?

"Mai", however, has a real story.

Chapter One
I Am Born
(That reminds me of Melanie reading David Copperfield from the movie Gone With The Wind.)

When it was time for my birth, my mother went to stay with her family. I'm not sure why. I think that she and Dad were not getting along and she didn't want him around. She waited and waited, getting angrier and more impatient by the day. It seems I was in no hurry to get into this world and arrived two weeks after the projected due date.

In being born, though, I made up for lost time. There was no time to call the doctor, much less get her to the hospital. It must have been the shortest labour in history.

After all that, I was a girl.

No, not that silly Punjabi prejudice against the girlchild. Dad had enough sons anyway. In his family, there is a genetic condition that affects all the girls born. Usually, they die as babies or very young children. My mother said, "They live just long enough to break your heart." She had three girls, all of whom died, before me and was not at all willing to go through that heartbreak again. She hadn't wanted another child to begin with and now she had as little to do with me as was possible. Beyond feeding me, she paid little attention to me.

Of course, Dad was called and he and my brothers, all seven of them, came running, along with a friend of the youngest. He arrived in a few minutes, bellowing "Waheguru!" partly from joy and partly he wanted that to be the first word I ever heard. (It wasn't, of course, my mother was cursing in furious anger the whole time.)

In those days, doctors were more willing to make housecalls and her ob/gyn came to the house. I don't know all the details, but she stayed home and didn't go to the hospital until going to be checked up a few days later. I guess there weren't as many malpractice suits then as now. After a time, all the medical details were taken care of - it was not true that Dad cut my umbilical cord with his kirpan, I'm not sure who started that story - I was cleaned up, wrapped up in a baby blanket and my mother gave me my first meal and then went to sleep.

Dad and eight boys were left in charge of a tiny baby girl. (My mother's family never accepted our father and brothers. They were/are not nice people. They didn't like me either.) According to my Dad, I was the most beautiful baby ever born, with a full head of hair - after all, they had an extra two weeks to grow - and huge blue eyes and I gurgled nicely.

He whispered "Waheguru" in my ears a few more times and slipped a tiny kara on my wrist.

So what to do with me? Dad was very comfortable with young babies, but my brothers weren't. Dad teased them all a bit and I was passed from brother to brother until I came to my brother's ten year old friend. He was terrified to hold this new, little life, but finally Dad shamed him into taking me. I was laid in his waiting arms - and promptly threw up all over him! The boy and the new-born baby just stared into each other's eyes.

Dad threw back his head and laughed and laughed and laughed. Finally he bellowed, "This one won't put up with cowards. I see we have another Mai Bhago on our hands!" I have been Mai ever since.

So, you see, I was actually Mai before I was Harinder.

Mai is, after all, a Sikh name. At least my Mai is. I was always brought with that lady as my ideal, a true warrior princess and servant of Guru Gobind Singh Ji.

How does the marriage come in?

That ten year old boy was Mani. We were married 18 years later to the day.

None of these pictures are actually of me. I chose that particular painting of Mai Bhago (Mata Bhag Kaur) because I used to ride a white horse, as well. Not that I am much like this great Singhni!).
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WHY TRY TO FIT IN? YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT!

Thoughts On Our Kara

Every person I know who calls her/himself a Sikh wears a kara. I know I wore mine through the long years of my exile from the Sangat, even when they tried to forcefully remove at the mental hospital. They could have taken my wedding band if they had wanted that, but not my kara.

When Maman (Vini) visited with me after my twenty years' absence, she brought me a kara from her home in Amritsar. Knowing my taste, she brought a very simple, flat one. No lines, no engaving. Like this one. I exchanged it with the one I had been wearing since 1984 during our battle.

The kara is most decidedly not a magic talisman. It does, however, have power. I cannot tell how many times seeing or feeling my kara, or just knowing it's there, has given me strength and courage to do what I know is right.

In fact, since babyhood, the only time it has been off my body was when I got an MRI - any magnetic metal in the room could screw up the very expensive piece of equipment - and anyway, I was comatose. But I wonder how often we really consider what it means to us. This article appeared in the Gurmat Learning Zone, and since I have permission to republish their articles, here I share it with you

Maybe after reading it, you'll be even more appreciative of the kara on your wrist or arm.

Kara– SYMBOL OF FREEDOM AND EQUALITY

Kara, one of the five kakars of the Sikhs, is neither an ornament nor a tool, but is a blessed gift from Lord, the Tenth Master Guru Gobind Singh ji.

Alas, this great gift to the humanity has been ignored or has not been appreciated in its true spirit.

Kara symoblises dignity, equality, independence and emancipation from slavery. It can be termed with certainity, whether it is known to the world or not that it is the prelude to the Charter of the UNO or foundation stone of the human rights' movements in the world.

Guru Nanak Dev ji, founder of the Khalsa Panth was born in year 1469 in Punjab, the land of five rivers. Coincidentally this was the year when in the west Machevally was also born.

This was the time when the Indian society was cursed with four divisions on the basis of birth in a particular clan. Vast majority was termed as shudras, or so-called lower castes. The biggest challege of that time with the Gurus was the blood-stained subjugation, torture, humiliation, deprivation of vast majority of the people not on the basis of their ethicity, colour, gender, knowledge, race or region but the birth in the house of a shudra.

         That was the time when the alleged low castes, shudras were deprived from entry or participation the temples of learning, and temples of religious prayers. A human being deprived of these two gifts will become and behave in a manner less than human beings. In olden times the cursed were branded or forced to live in ghettos. Perpetuating and implementing his thoughts, founding father of the socio-religious laws of Hindus, Manu pronounced about the low caste shudras should wear the black-iron ornaments.

 

Their dress (shall be) the garments of the dead, (they shall eat) their food from broken dishes, black iron (shall be) their ornaments, and they must always wander from place to place. [Manu Smriti - Chapter X, canto 52.]

This was not acceptable and detested to by the founder of Sikhism, Guru Nanak Dev ji. In absolute humility and humbleness, he categorically declared and identified himself with the lowest of the low saying,

                     ਨੀਚਾ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਨੀਚ ਜਾਤਿ ਨੀਚੀ ਹੂ ਅਤਿ ਨੀਚੁ ॥  

ਨਾਨਕੁ ਤਿਨ ਕੈ ਸੰਗਿ ਸਾਥਿ ਵਡਿਆ ਸਿਉ ਕਿਆ ਰੀਸ ॥   

ਜਿਥੈ ਨੀਚ ਸਮਾਲੀਅਨਿ ਤਿਥੈ ਨਦਰਿ ਤੇਰੀ ਬਖਸੀਸ ॥4॥3॥
(ਗੁ.ਗ੍ਰੰ.ਸਾ. ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ, ਮ:1)

Nanak seeks the company of the lowest of the low class, the very lowest of the low. Why should he try to compete with the great? In that place where the lowly are cared for-there, the Blessings of Your Glance of Grace rain down. 43

(Guru Granth Sahib, Siri Rag, M:1)

This message was carried to its logical ends by the Tenth Master Guru Gobind Singh when he initiated the Khalsa Panth by bestowing Amrit (nectar). The de-branding the so-called shudras and to bestow divine acceptance to all He directed every Sikh to always wear kara (black iron) bangle like ornament on the wrist.

              Kara thus became a divine hand-cuff reminding the adherant of his obligation to follow the diktats and desist from prohibted commands.

To look for material benefits or comfirts from kara is belittling its true message. Once a student of Khalsa College, Amritsar asked Master Tara Singh, veteran gursikh leader that what is the advantage of wearing a kara. Master Tara Singh replied there is no benefit for you. Shocked student asked, 'and it is beneficial to you?'. Masterji replied in the affirmative.

When asked further Master Tara Singh's reply was terse and pointed. He explained that you are trying to look into the kara that if you wear it you will get some benefits or may get more marks in exams. Nothing of the sort is going to happen. But to me it is a constant and inspirational reminder that those who had this kara on their wrists had their skull ripped off with a chisel, were cut bit by bit, were boiled alive and baked on hot plates. To me this is a reminder that if I wear it I may be blessed this way for my commitment to my Guru. The importance of a Kara on the wrist of a Sikh can be visualised from the following words of a spiritiual philosopher and scientist Prof. Puran Singh.:

"I heard a stupid Sikh preacher the other day, trying to convince a mass gathering of the Sikhs that the iron ring of the Guru worn on the wrist is a protection against lightning. He said, as large buildings are made safe against lightning by a rod of iron, so the Guru has saved man from the stroke of lightning. He was hopelessly flinging his arms up and down to gather some straw of a reason to prove the rationale of the iron ring the Guru gave us as a gift. Coming to us from our personal God, dearer to us than our mother, father, sister or sweetheart, it comes to us as His Gift, as His Blessing, Fie on our manners that we argue over and over about it. He touched my hair and I keep it; when I toss my arm up in the air and the iron ring shines, I am reminded of His wrist that wore it – One exactly like this. Is this arm, by some stray gleam of the iron ring on my wrist, His? Other religions live in an elaborated symbolism; I the Sikh have no religion. He loved me, he made me His own. The sword is the mind where the Guru lives. The iron ring is the sign of His remembrance. The tresses of hair are as clouds round a snow peak – they always gather, gather—they always rain, rain. In my sacred tresses flow Ganga, Jamna and Godavari. Have I got the comb, the Guru gave me? have I got His other gifts? I may have lost them. But I cannot lose my tresses, I cannot lose my iron ring. Because, you remember how He called His disciple Bhai Gurdas from Benaras. The disciples went as bidden and brought him with his hands bound with a string from Benares to Amritsar. Once the call of the Master was answered thus. Each one of us is called. We are of His spiritual militia. We have to wear the ring which is His gift, and we are the prisoners of infinite love. These are the fetters of love, the price of our freedom. Each Sikh wears hair and the beard of Guru gobind Singh. We are moulded in His image."  (Ji, please forgive me for mentioning this, but most women, even Sikh women, don't have beards.)

So kara in the hands of a Sikh is an article of faith and commitment to the society and should be honoured and appreciated like that. It is neither an ornament nor a superstitious symbol. It is certainly a vocal and potent sign of commitment to the human rights of the entire humanity.

-Compiled by Gurcharanjit Singh Lamba

Coordinator, IHRO Sikh Affairs

All pictures except the header are from the Sikh Kara Store on eBay.
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WHY TRY TO FIT IN?
YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT!

Sarika Needs Our Help - Update

Go here to sign the petition supporting our brave, young sister who is standing up for who she is and what she believes!

Sarika Singh is a 14-year old girl who attends Aberdare Girls’ School.

She wears a ‘Kara’ to school and because of this she has been isolated in school. The school keep referring to her Kara as a piece of jewellery and therefore a health & safety risk. However, it is a visible article of faith that represents her belief.

Prior to being excluded she had been put into isolation at school and was being taught separately to every other student, as she refused to remove her Kara. While in isolation she was not allowed to talk to any of her friends and was not even allowed to go to the bathroom without a teacher. She has not been allowed to take part in school activities or clubs after school. It is very concerning that Sarika was taught in isolation because of her beliefs.

While in isolation she was not getting taught the education that she should because she was made to copy out of books and if the support teacher did not know about the subject she could not do the work and was told to do something else instead.

Sarika believes that everyone should stand up for what they believe, and she feels that her school by trying to prevent her from wearing her Kara has made her a victim of her belief.

Prior to exclusion she was not receiving the education that she should be receiving like the other pupils in the school. This issue has been going on since May.

Following her exclusion from 5 November the family with the help of Liberty is being forced to seek a judicial review as the school is demanding she remove the small bangle called a Kara. Various parties have tried to resolve this matter by discussing it and arranging meetings (with the school), but the school has not been forthcoming.

Sarika is very upset and wants to go back to school as soon as possible. She is a good student and she wants to see her friends, like any other 14-year-old.

The school bans all pupils from wearing jewellery other than plain metal ear studs and a wristwatch. Up until the exclusion on 5 November the school maintained the Kara was an item of jewellery. Only after the publicity did the school say it also did not allow crosses or head scarves.

The Headteacher is Jane Rosser and has been very forthright in her right to run the school as she deems appropriate. Welsh Assembly member Leanne Wood has said the case shows schools (in Wales) need guidance on uniforms. The guidance is Wales has been pending for four years. In England the guidance put out to schools on Sikh articles of faith has been helpful and allowed schools and the individuals to come to sensible solutions.

Anna Fairclough, of the human rights group Liberty which is providing legal representation has said: “The school's reaction to our client's desire to modestly observe her faith has not only been discriminatory but defies common sense.

“Unfortunately, the school's uniform policy appears to mean that no Sikh can attend the school without compromising their beliefs.”

Following the Mandla v Lee case (House of Lords 1983) Sikhs are protected under the Race Relations Act 1976 and the school is unlawfully discriminating against Sarika. From a legal perspective it is similar to a child being excluded because of the colour of their skin and is totally unacceptable.

The following web site has been set up in support of Sarika:

http://supportsarika.co.uk

Please support Sarika by visiting the web site and signing the online petition. You could also circulate this link to friends via e-groups, discussion forums etc.


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Sarita Needs Our Help
I will get back to posting my journal, but this is important.

I imagine by now the whole cybersangat is aware of the predicament of Sarita Singh in Wales. Her school is forbidding her from wearing her kara. The only 'jewelry' her school allows is a wristwatch and plain stud earrings. I think it is ironic that they would allow her to mutilate herself, but not wear her kara. In her own words,

"It's very important to me, it constantly reminds me to do good and not to
do bad, especially with my hands."

This came into my in box this morning. Can we please all go to the link and support our young sister by signing the petition there?

The following web site has been set up in support of Sarika, the 14 year old girl who has been excluded from school in South Wales for wearing the Kara, religious bangle.

http://supportsarika.co.uk/

Please support Sarika by visiting the web site and signing the online petition.

Aberdare Girls School in Wales has excluded the pupil for refusing to remove her Kara as it says it has a strict policy on jewellery which only allows pupils to wear a watch or stud earnings.

The Kara is a fundamental part of the Sikh religion. It is not a piece of jewelery, but it is an article of faith and expression of religious belief.

It's the least we can do. And I think we need to do it.

The next day: Wednesday, 21 November:

I just checked the petition. It has 433 signatures, of which two were outclicked from this site.

Here is a news update from the India eNews:

Global support for suspended Sikh girl in Britain

From correspondents in London, England, 10:00 AM IST


As the issue involving a Sikh girl's suspension from a Welsh school for wearing a kada, a symbol of Sikhism, appeared headed for the courts, hundreds of people from around the world backed the girl through a website set up to support her.

Sarika Watkins-Singh, 14, of mixed Welsh-Punjabi parentage, has been suspended three times from the Aberdare Girls School for wearing the kada. The school says that wearing it goes against its code, which only allows watches and stud-earrings.

Human rights organisation Liberty, which is directed by Shami Chakrabarti, has taken up Sarika's case. It is arguing that by excluding Sarika, the school's governing body has violated violating the Race Relations Act 1976, the Equality Act 2006 and the Human Rights Act 1998.

Angry, passionate messages against the school authorities have been left by visitors on the website www.supportsarika.co.uk. The website features press and video coverage of the case that has hit the headlines across Britain and elsewhere.

Anna Fairclough, Liberty's legal officer representing the Singhs, said: 'The governing body of the school has ignored established race and equality protections and shamefully turned a young woman into a pariah by isolating her.

'Legal precedents established 25 years ago make clear that she should be allowed to wear the kara without being intimidated by the school.'


(Staff Writer, © IANS)


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